To Be (Influenced) Or Not To Be

How much can a movie impress you? Or any book/novel?

May be ranging from few hours to a few days, depending on your emotional involvement and the ensuing ‘connect’ that you feel.

For me, though, the involvement has always been enormous, very personal and to the extent that I feel I have watched that movie/read that book because, probably, in the larger scheme of things, I was destined to do so – to watch/read them to get a subtle hint on ‘what lies ahead’ in my life. Watching Gulaal a few Sundays before, for ex, made me very upset, not only because it dealt with a topical issue in a very unconventional manner, but largely because it showed an ambitious girl ready to take up anything/anyone in her way to achieve power and legacy. She could fake love and proximity and do all this with great élan, ease and efficiency.

And that let loose my imagination…why on earth did I see all this? Could it be a future reckoner for me to be cautious of any ambitious girl who comes my way? Would it be right to judge all girls on this weird logic, just become I happen to see a random scrip-writer’s story?

The problem (if it is so) is that Gulaal and its ambitious girl are no solitary incidents. I have similarly been influenced by a lot of books and now strongly detest reading ‘influential’ authors like Ayn Rand & Kafka, just because I fear following their philosophies and relating them to my day-to-day life. Nothing wrong in that, one might say. One does get influenced by somebody’s thoughts which prove to be a turning point of his/her life. But, such ‘turning point influences’ are the ones that affects at a macro level (like the broad approach towards life). In my case, things are working at a very micro level and that is the nuisance.

Probably, I think too  much, too much of ‘reading between the lines’, and possibly, things will better with time but, as of now, every line I read, every frame I watch in a movie is making me what I am; and I don’t understand whether they are turning me out to be  a good human being or not.